Unashamed

 Automatic writing is like a gift of freedom. This gift of freedom is present when engaging in any creative medium that has no end goal. I feel completely unencumbered. I want this feeling in everything I do in life. I feel that sensation with my breath. And while it may be as free as can be, I choose to appreciate it rather than take it for granted. Would I take life for granted if I lived completely free and unencumbered? I think not. What does it mean to take something for granted? To not appreciate it? To not energize it completely? To not mold it into its greatest potential? Well, I choose to appreciate my life. I choose to energize my life completely. I choose to mold my life into its greatest potential which is my dream. I'd say that living in that way is freedom and it takes nothing for granted. The moment I begin to judge myself is the moment a mask appears. I would rather be my true self and know who genuinely likes me than be a false self for the sake of pleasing the judge in my own mind. How can I embrace that judge? Who is that judge in my mind? Is it a product of my conditioning? Or is it truly me? Am I in there talking to me and judging myself and shaming myself? Or am I in there protecting myself? If I'm protecting myself, what is it that I am protecting myself from? Loneliness? Am I lonely? I do not feel lonely at all. I feel happy on my own. I feel happy with others around. Perhaps there is no reason to judge at all. Perhaps it is completely safe to be free. Perhaps the judge fears freedom. Afterall, people may dislike me. People may deeply disagree with my beliefs, with my thoughts, with my writing. People may dislike my voice or my appearance. Whether I obey this judge in my mind or not, people will still have opinions about me both seemingly good and seemingly bad. If I obey this judge in my mind, I am pleasing only to the judge whose expectations have proven extremely difficult to live up to for this judge is never satisfied. I choose a life of satisfaction. I choose joy. I choose happiness. I choose abundance. I choose loving acceptance in my relationships. I work to love myself and others just as we are. 

To some I am smart. To others I am not. To some I am beautiful. To others I am ugly. To some I am kind. Others see me as selfish. The reality is that I AM all these things and so are you. We are all things together seeing through individual lenses. I choose to love the whole world. And I'm not ashamed about it. My guess is that you will love me or hate my honesty. My biggest battle in life has been the one to just be. I have likes and dislikes that change from time to time. There are places I used to love that I have no desire to return to. You may find me in church, at a bar, or on a spring. Some may call me wishy-washy, but change is the nature of things. I find comfort in knowing evolution is constant. When you are hurting, I hold you. When you are angry, I am still. When you are joyful, I laugh with you. We are all these things. We are ever changing emotions in motion with physical bodies tend to on a planet that requires our love, in an infinitely expanding universe. 

I vow to write freely because freedom is truth.